


Green Eggs with a Side of Pining for Your Best Friend

by phantom81



Category: Green Eggs and Ham (Cartoon), Green Eggs and Ham - Dr. Seuss
Genre: Briefcase Buddies, Confiding in a Ten-Year-Old, Light Angst, Love Triangles, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, One-Sided Attraction, Or Is It?, Pining, Rated for a Single Swear Word, Spoilers, The I-Am-Am-I's
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-19
Updated: 2019-11-19
Packaged: 2021-02-13 11:48:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21493786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phantom81/pseuds/phantom81
Summary: Guy had never suspected, and that wasn’t a skit.When it came to romance, he didn’t know shit.
Relationships: (mentioned) - Relationship, Guy Am I & Sam I Am (Green Eggs and Ham), Guy Am I/Sam I Am (Green Eggs and Ham), Guy-Am-I/Michellee (Green Eggs and Ham), Sam-I-Am & E.B. (Green Eggs and Ham)
Comments: 44
Kudos: 295





	Green Eggs with a Side of Pining for Your Best Friend

**Author's Note:**

> the working title was green eggs and angst but i love long titles

_ Sam was afraid and awoke with a start. _

_ He couldn’t ignore the harsh thump-thumping of his heart. _

_ He looked around the living room of the cabin. _

_ Trying to remember the awful dream he was havin’. _

_ Then he recalled his frightful vision. _

_ And just as he exited the kitchen, there was a collision. _

_ It was E.B. Sam realized with a smile. _

_ He should apologize, he didn’t mean to be hostile. _

_ E.B. looked at him, a glass of water in hand.  _

_ Seeing Sam late at night was not what she’d planned. _

“Hey Sam!” She yelled in a whisper, careful not to wake up Guy, who was still asleep on the sofa, the Chickeraffe wrapped around him. Sam had opted to take the beat-up air mattress Michellee had found in the closet, wanting only the best for his best friend. 

“Hi E.B! Does your Mom know you’re up?” Sam whisper-yelled back, his eyes darting to Guy, snoring away on the sofa.

“She doesn’t, but what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her, right?” E.B. rationalized, her voice no longer straining. She looked at Sam with a worried expression and before he could answer, E.B. asked: “Are you okay?” 

_ Sam really didn’t know any better,  _

_ He was still glad he wasn’t getting wetter. _

_ But the solemn look on the face of E.B. _

_ Made him want to create another lie to decree. _

_ He didn’t want her to worry, not about him! _

_ Children were supposed to be happy, not so grim! _

_ Sam struggled to smile, but it was never this hard _

_ And he sadly still looked like he had been scarred. _

_ His resolve to fib faded as he remembered Guy _

_ And their adopted Chickeraffe that loved a delicious tie. _

Sam wasn’t okay, not by the most liberal of estimates. He was on the run from the law and still lying to his best friend about what he was planning to do with Mr. Jenkins when they got to Meepville. He wanted to tell him so badly but he saw how Guy looked at Michellee. He didn’t need Sam anymore. He had found someone to love and he loved her with all of his broken little heart. Sam was happy for him, he was! He was excited for a new chapter of Guy’s life to start. But if Sam was so glad for his best friend, then why did it feel like he was about to cry every time he saw the way Guy looked at Michellee? 

“No? I mean, uh, yes! I’m great! Not having a crisis, no sir-ee!” Sam thought he sounded pretty confident. What he didn’t know was that seeing through weak lies was one of E.B’s talents. She laid her glass of water on the counter, careful not to make a disturbance. 

“Hey, Sam.” Her voice was soft and comforting. Sam had the sinking feeling that she was used to dealing with adults having emotional breakdowns. “It’s gonna be okay. I mean, I don’t know what’s bothering you, but everything always turns out okay. And I know that for sure!” 

_ Her comforting words brought a tear to Sam’s eye _

_ For a reason he wasn’t yet sure why. _

_ Something about what she said made him want to open up _

_ But it was difficult when he spent his life with the door shut. _

_ E.B. looked at him with a grin _

_ As for opening up, she already considered this a win _

_ She had plenty of experience helping her Mom _

_ And was one-hundred percent ready to hear Sam’s qualm. _

_ There was just one thing wrong, I am afraid. _

_ Things like this took more fixing than just a band-aid. _

Sam laughed. He wished he was as optimistic as E.B— which said a lot because up until a few days ago, he was the most optimistic person he knew! But every so often some doubts crept in. It was impossible to avoid them, no matter how many aliases he came up with, no matter how many jobs he took. 

Sam-I-Am was getting attached. 

He wanted to avoid getting to know the Chickeraffe, but the promise of a friend overwhelmed him. He could finally find someone! He could put everything about his own Mom behind him and move on. So that’s what Sam tried to do. He attached himself to two people at once. Well, one of the “people” was an animal, and the other person didn’t always want to deal with him, but that was okay. He had two friends in his corner, whether Guy wanted to admit it or not. 

_ What really surprised him is how well he worked with Guy.  _

_ When Guy said: “Jump!” Sam said: “How high?” _

_ All Sam ever wanted was a friend _

_ And now he has one with him ‘till the end. _

_ His smiler couldn’t stop smiling when Guy was around. _

_ He felt like his smile could fix the poor man’s frown. _

_ And even when Sam couldn’t, he stayed by his side _

_ Because now he had someone in which he could confide! _

_ Sam-I-Am didn’t know the thoughts about Guy in his head _

_ Were less friendly and more like something else instead. _

“Okay. I’ll talk.” Sam said, mimicking an interrogation. Not that he had ever been on the interrogate-ee side of one of those… E.B. laughed as they hopped up on the countertop, careful to keep quiet. 

“So you admit there’s something bothering you, then?”

“I never said  _ that _ , I just said I’ll talk. Doesn’t mean I’ll talk about what’s bothering me.” Sam played his words off as a joke, but he could tell E.B. wasn’t fooled when she put a hand on his arm. 

“It’ll make you feel better, I promise.” He trusted E.B’s careful smile so much so that he opened his mouth, and not just for green eggs and ham to be shoveled in. 

“You know how people get warm, fuzzy feelings for other people? Like, when you’re around  _ one _ specific person, you can’t help but feel good?” 

E.B. looks at him cautiously, trying to magically see who Sam likes. She gives him a sly smirk while sipping her glass of water, her feet swinging back and forth. “Mhm.” She acknowledges, nodding her head. “Sometimes, when my mom talks about my dad, she’ll say that she loved him. Is love the fuzzy feeling?” She looked up at Sam with big, innocent eyes and he caved. 

“Yeah.” He smiled, but there was a lurking sadness beneath it. “It’s called love.”

E.B’s mouth opened in a quiet gasp before turning into a devious smirk. “So…” She drew out the vowel, almost singing the word. “Who do you get fuzzy feelings for?” 

E.B. was a master manipulator for sure. Sam could easily tell. He shakily laughed, internally debating whether to tell her the truth or avoid talking about it for as long as possible. He decided on a mixture of the two.

“Well…” Sam drummed his fingers on his thighs, thinking up some fake names to use. “He, uh… His name is, um…” He struggled to think of a fake name until he remembered the story that Guy had told him in the dump. “His name is Ghee! That’s it, yeah, yeah, yeah. His name is Ghee, and he’s the most charming, most handsome, most nice… nicest? Most nicest person in the entire world.” Sam rambled, going on and on about everything he admired about Guy-Am-I. He admired quite a lot of things, he realized, when E.B. told him to quiet down. He had a dopey grin on his face when he stopped talking, still thinking about Guy. 

“You  _ sure _ love this guy, huh?”

“Guy? No, I don’t love Guy. I mean, I love  _ a  _ guy, but not  _ Guy guy _ , ya know?” Sam was sweating beneath his fur, his face flushing a visible red. E.B. decided not to push it, even though she  _ really  _ wanted to push it. 

“If you love him so much, then why don’t you tell him?” E.B. was so innocent. She didn’t see the millions of things that could go wrong is Sam told him. He could lose his Briefcase Buddy!

_ E.B. didn’t get it, she didn’t understand. _

_ Even if Sam followed exactly what he’d planned, _

_ And said he loved him more than a Chickeraffe loves a tie. _

_ It wouldn’t stop him from wrecking his friendship with Guy. _

_ So Sam keeps the butterflies in his belly locked up inside _

_ And every time he saw how Guy looked at Michellee, a part of him died. _

_ He wished he could tell him just how he felt: _

_ That every time he looked at him, his heart would melt. _

_ But Sam knew he couldn’t, so he did something else instead. _

_ He would confide in E.B. and hoped his love didn’t spread. _

“It’s really hard to tell someone that you love them sometimes. Sometimes it’s easy, but sometimes I don’t know if he loves me back.” Sam let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding in. He slouched, his body crumpling like a piece of paper. “Plus… he loves someone else, and I really want him to be happy.”

“But what if you’re not happy?” She asked, as if it was a difficult question for Sam to answer. She looked like she was on the verge of tears, her eyes soft and sparkling in the moonlight. She was so innocent, Sam didn’t want her to get mixed up in his mess.

“If he’s happy, then I am. If it means sacrificing a chance with him, then that’s what I’ll do.” He smiled, tears welling in his eyes as he imagined Guy and Michellee happily together. Sure, he was afraid Guy would leave him once Michellee let him in, but until then, he’d be right at his side the entire time. He would help them get together because he wanted to see Guy happy so badly. Sam didn’t feel the tears rolling down his face until E.B. hugged him.

“But, you need to be happy  _ too _ , Sam. You can’t rely on other peoples’ happiness to be happy yourself.” She was crying too and an overwhelming wave of guilt washed over him. He was supposed to be good with kids, not make them cry! But E.B’s message was kind and gentle. “Tell him.” She whispered, catching Sam by surprise yet again. He knew deep down that Guy would reject him, but something about the way E.B. spoke made him want to listen and obey. It was one of the many superpowers children possessed. 

“Thanks, E.B. You’re a treasure.” 

_ As the two smiled and sat side by side, _

_ There was but a single downside. _

_ Sam’s crush: Guy-Am-I, also known as the grouch, _

_ Had been very much awake as he lay on the couch. _

_ Guy had heard every word that Sam had said _

_ And the oatmush in his stomach became butterflies instead. _

_ Someone really loved him, for the first time in ages, _

_ Even if the person who did had no place among sages. _

_ Guy had never suspected, and that wasn’t a skit _

_ When it came to romance, he didn’t know shit. _

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> i can only write angst and im sorry


End file.
